My Ten Year Power Struggle

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, My husband and I are and have been having a power struggle for nearly 10 years. He is stronger in the struggle than I am and it has now reached a physical level. He feels like I have hurt him and has withdrawn his love and takes but rarely gives. We are parents of three who sometimes see their father swearing

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Premature Ejaculation

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, I’m married with three young children. We are both working. By the time we take care of our clients and children, we have little energy for one another. We rarely reach sexual encounter. I often experience premature ejaculation.Any suggestions? Thanks,Sexually Frustrated A Dear Sexually Frustrated, Based on your description of the problem I suspect that you already know the answer. Focusing

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Should I Marry My Fiance?

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, I have to make a decision about a young man that I have been dating for six months. I live in Indianapolis and he lives in the State of Washington. We are both Christians and have an open communication line that the majority of married people would envy. The problem is that upon his return visit back to Washington, after the

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He’s Wonderful but Something’s Missing

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, My husband and I have been together 10 years, married for six of those years and have a two-year old. We have a wonderful working relationship and are good partners, but I have always felt that something was missing. Our relationship began not out of romance or passion, but because he was just good company. I never felt in love or

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My Husband Had an Affair

Q Dear WholeFamily, My husband had an affair in 8/98 with someone I knew. He got her pregnant and I knew nothing about it for almost 2 years. The baby is 10 months old. I lost my mind. I ended up in the hospital for a week. Right now I am lost. A Dear Lost, It’s bad enough that your husband cheated on you, but

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What is Real Love?

Love — What is it? First, let me tell you what it isn’t. It’s not a something we fall in or out of. It’s not a dreamy, blissful state where all fears, doubts, and worries melt away as we merge into one flesh. And it’s not those glorious first moments of your first love when you were swept away in a wave of ecstasy. I know

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Sexual Mythology

“You and your husband are alone in a cabin for the first time since your marriage. He is nibbling on your ear. Do you (a) nibble back, (b) tell him the toilet is running, (c) ask him to kill the mosquito that’s buzzing in your ear, (d) think about how disgusting it is to have his saliva stagnate inside of your ear or (e) tell

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The Ten Truths of Marriage

Ten hard truths about how to avoid marital pitfalls and how to create a successful marriage: 1. You can’t make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy. 2. Try all you want; you’ll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change. 3. People don’t marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your

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Is My Wife Playing Me for a Fool?

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, My wife and I have been separated for one year now. Some people around me say she is playing me for a fool, but she sometimes shows up for counseling and when she does everything is okay for a couple of days but then she does not want to return my calls or want to talk to me and says she

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Articles by Michael Tobin
Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist for forty-seven years specializing in couple and family therapy. He co-founded a theater company that performed vignettes on family and marital issues, which he co-wrote. These plays were performed over 100 times. He is the co-founder of, an award winning website that focuses on how to solve typical marital and family challenges.