Articles

60+ Life Hacks for Seniors Part One

How to Get Smarter, Healthier, and Happier, and Live the Premium Lifestyle You Deserve Today, I decided to break the rules.  It’s one of the prerogatives of being a Premium – not needing to be a good boy. I’m going to start with a poetry slam on the experience of aging. It has nothing to do with the title of this blog. It’s just that

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Ten Things Never to Do in a Marriage

DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED DON’T MIND-READ DON’T BLAME DON’T PLAY SHRINK DON’T SAY YES WHEN YOU MEAN NO DON’T USE SILENCE AS A WEAPON DON’T ACT OUT DON’T THREATEN DON’T DISCOUNT DON’T TRIANGULATE 1. DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED. Think about this question for a moment. Are you as polite, kind and considerate to your partner as you are to a casual

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Dr. Tobin Talks to Parents About Drugs: Part One

BACKGROUND Before we talk about the specifics of teenage drug use let me first mention the obvious. General drug use and/or abuse are an accepted part of our society. Hardly anyone questions the basic assumption that you take drugs to reduce tension, to lose weight, to concentrate, to get rid of a headache, to feel sociable, to sleep better, to kill a cold, etc., etc.,

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My Husband is Self-Centered and I Want More!

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, I have been married nine years and we have four children three boys and one girl. I feel that my husband is very self-centered. He is a full-time public defender who puts no effort into child care or maintaining the home. He also puts no time into our marriage. The unfortunate thing is that even though he works 60 plus hours a

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Marital Games

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, My wife and I seem to have many arguments over my taking time for myself. She is home all week with the kids, however, she gets out of the house three times a week for an average of 2½ to 3½ hours an evening. I, on the other hand, go to work and come home to sit the kids and get

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Is It Time to End the Marriage?

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, Is it normal for me and my husband to live totally separate lives? He has developed a whole persona at a job 50 miles from where we live. I have never met any of his co-workers and he has never invited me to his office. On two recent occasions he half-heartedly asked if I wanted to go to parties for coworkers

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On Marital Communication

Dear Visitor, Let me begin by saying the obvious: Communication is the heart of a successful relationship. Your words, spoken or written, soul to soul, are what foster change and growth in your partner or your loved one. Your openness to the words of your spouse, parent or child is what deepens your connection with him or her and with yourself. Letter writing has traditionally

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Marital Passion

I. Question: What are the key forces that impact passion in a marriage? Answer: In my experience, the major variables affecting marital passion are a sense of wonder and newness, coupled with a strong desire to please the other. One of the reasons that a new relationship or an affair is often so exciting, is that the couple wants to bring pleasure to each another which stimulates

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I’ve Lost Interest in My Depressed Wife

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, My wife and I have been married 21 years and have 3 daughters. Since I have known her, she has suffered from insecurity and a poor self-image, resulting from bad experiences during her teen years. She was a bit heavy, had severe acne, and had few friends. During her college years, she had high anxiety about grades, and spent all her

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My Partner Is Ruining My Name

Q Dear Dr. Tobin, When we have conflicts, my partner does not want to involve his friends or family, rather he feels free to contact my employer. In one case he contacted a prospective employer and I lost that opportunity. In another case, he informed a prospective employer that I was no longer available for work, which was not true. What are the guidelines regarding

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Articles by Michael Tobin
Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist for forty-seven years specializing in couple and family therapy. He co-founded a theater company that performed vignettes on family and marital issues, which he co-wrote. These plays were performed over 100 times. He is the co-founder of www.wholefamily.com, an award winning website that focuses on how to solve typical marital and family challenges.