Articles on Marriage

What Is a Soulmate—and How to Know if You’ve Found Yours

This article was originally published at Brides.com. The idea of meeting your soulmate is the glorious stuff of rom-coms—and apparently real-life, everyday people, too. “It’s the realization that this person who shares your life is a part of yourself,” says family and marital psychologist Dr. Michael Tobin. “A soulmate is an individual that has a lasting impact on your life.” MEET THE EXPERT Dr. Michael Tobin

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What’s love?

Perhaps the three most difficult English words to string together and actually mean are: “I love you.”              It’s not our fault. We’ve been brainwashed. Most of us are clueless about what love is, how love is supposed to feel, and what we’re supposed to do with it once the love bug has started messing with our DNA.   To understand authentic love the first thing we need

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Ten Things Never to Do in a Marriage

DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED DON’T MIND-READ DON’T BLAME DON’T PLAY SHRINK DON’T SAY YES WHEN YOU MEAN NO DON’T USE SILENCE AS A WEAPON DON’T ACT OUT DON’T THREATEN DON’T DISCOUNT DON’T TRIANGULATE 1. DON’T TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED. Think about this question for a moment. Are you as polite, kind and considerate to your partner as you are to a casual

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On Marital Communication

Dear Visitor, Let me begin by saying the obvious: Communication is the heart of a successful relationship. Your words, spoken or written, soul to soul, are what foster change and growth in your partner or your loved one. Your openness to the words of your spouse, parent or child is what deepens your connection with him or her and with yourself. Letter writing has traditionally

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Marital Passion

I. Question: What are the key forces that impact passion in a marriage? Answer: In my experience, the major variables affecting marital passion are a sense of wonder and newness, coupled with a strong desire to please the other. One of the reasons that a new relationship or an affair is often so exciting, is that the couple wants to bring pleasure to each another which stimulates

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What is Real Love?

Love — What is it? First, let me tell you what it isn’t. It’s not a something we fall in or out of. It’s not a dreamy, blissful state where all fears, doubts, and worries melt away as we merge into one flesh. And it’s not those glorious first moments of your first love when you were swept away in a wave of ecstasy. I know

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Sexual Mythology

“You and your husband are alone in a cabin for the first time since your marriage. He is nibbling on your ear. Do you (a) nibble back, (b) tell him the toilet is running, (c) ask him to kill the mosquito that’s buzzing in your ear, (d) think about how disgusting it is to have his saliva stagnate inside of your ear or (e) tell

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The Ten Truths of Marriage

Ten hard truths about how to avoid marital pitfalls and how to create a successful marriage: 1. You can’t make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy. 2. Try all you want; you’ll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change. 3. People don’t marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your

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Articles by Michael Tobin
Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist for forty-seven years specializing in couple and family therapy. He co-founded a theater company that performed vignettes on family and marital issues, which he co-wrote. These plays were performed over 100 times. He is the co-founder of www.wholefamily.com, an award winning website that focuses on how to solve typical marital and family challenges.