This is the ninth installment of the Marital Labyrinth Series, a series published simultaneously at Psychology Today. In this blog, we take a minor detour to follow up on the previous post to dispel the illusion of the affair as a solution to emptiness and despair. You can view all articles in the series at this page. Dispelling the illusion that an affair is good for a marriage
In this eighth installment of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, Dr Tobin considers the affair as a solution in the mind of the adulterer. You can view all articles in the series at this page. Imagine for a moment that you’re Kate’s closest friend. She tells you, “I can’t keep this a secret from you. I’m falling for another man. I work with
In this seventh installment of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, Dr Tobin asks whether an affair is like an addiction, and confronts some of the self-justifications that can lead someone into an affair. You can view all articles in the series at this page. The Alluring Appeal of an Affair Kate found no solace from her exquisite night of imagined pleasure. She couldn’t
In this sixth instalment of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, Dr Tobin asks whether it is cheating to fantasize about another person. You can view all articles in the series at this page. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ in the body. Through creative imagination and fantasy a couple can bring excitement and drama to their lovemaking. It takes courage to
The Marital Labyrinth series continues with this fifth article – published simultaneously at Psychology Today – in which Dr Tobin considers the underlying causes, and the missing ingredients in a marriage, that can lead to an affair. You can view all articles in the series at this page. After the Affair: The Therapy Begins Kate and Dan began therapy with me approximately a month after Dan discovered Kate’s
In this fourth article of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, we consider whether you can truly see your partner in an open marriage. You can view all articles on the series page. The purpose of marriage is to teach us how to face our partner Why? Because the essence of love is to see the other. In the movie Avatar, the humanoid natives of Pandora
This article originally appeared at Insider.com Christopher is a 31-year-old living in San Francisco who volunteered to have his dating app profile analyzed by an expert for Insider’s Dating App Clinic. Psychologist Dr. Michael Tobin said Christopher’s bio is great, but he needs to choose stronger photos. If you’d like to have your profile reviewed by experts, fill out this form. Top stories based on your reading
In this third article of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, we look at the realities of an open marriage. You can view all articles on the series page. Thanks to Will and Jada Smith, there’s been an increased discussion in the media about open marriages. I’ve been asked to wade in on this subject. This is an unexpected but relevant detour from the Marital Labyrinth
In this second article of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, we ask whether a marital affair could happen to you? You can view all articles on the series page. The Cracks that Lead to a marital affair A marital crisis doesn’t erupt without warning, nor does it explode without a context. A violent, seismic fracture such as an affair may be
In these upcoming articles about marriage, marital affairs, and how to affair-proof your marriage, we are about to embark on a deep and sometimes torturous journey into the heart and soul of a marriage. I invite you to join me as we dive into the fictionalized experiences of a couple, Kate and Dan, who are a composite of many of the couples with whom I’ve worked. The story
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