Emptiness and Despair: the Affair as a Solution (Part 2)
This is the ninth installment of the Marital Labyrinth Series, a series published simultaneously at Psychology Today. In this blog, we take a minor detour to follow
Available now in Digital, Print, and Audiobook
Two soulmates leave the security of their well-ordered lives in search of life’s larger truths. Come along for the journey…
“I galloped through it. Couldn’t help it. It was that good a read.”
Risa Miller
Winner of the Pen Award for best first novel
About the Book
Forty-seven years ago, Michael discovered his soulmate Deborah on a dance floor in Keene, New Hampshire. It took her soul a few years and an around-the-world bike trek to fully reciprocate. Riding the Edge is the astonishing tale of the six-month odyssey that profoundly shaped the next 564 months of their lives together.
Taking place in 1980, Michael and Deborah—an American Jew and American Arab, respectively—leave the security of their well-ordered lives as psychologists sleepwalking toward marriage and family to explore and take risks in search of life’s larger truths.
What they find is a story of magnificent vistas and memorable moments that enliven their senses to the beauty of the world even as it also reveals the vilest of human cruelty.
Simple meals become transcendent experiences, chance encounters are serendipitous markers along a road directing them toward personal and spiritual transformation. Each place leaves its mark—Paris and the French countryside, Italy, Greece, war-torn Beirut, Israel—and each person an imprint even as Deborah and Michael struggle to find the truth of their love. Have they found a life partner or merely a steppingstone to another, deeper connection?
It’s a journey that has a mind and heart of its own.
In the end, each story, kindness, and cruelty uncover the humanness that connects all living things and shows that love is a powerful, healing life force.
About the Author
Michael Tobin has been an author and playwright since he was twelve when he wrote a monumental play about the Warsaw Ghetto uprising that had over 20,000 actors on stage at one time. For logistical reasons it was never produced. On his way to becoming a psychologist, he was a former US Army officer, glacier climber, marathon runner, and restauranteur. He also claims to be the first entrepreneur to introduce granola to Connecticut.
What People are Saying
“I galloped through it. Couldn’t help it. It was that good a read. You are a terrific writer. Maybe you’ve heard that over and over, but I know from experience it’s the kind of thing you never get tired of hearing.
It’s beautifully written; my heart is flapping
I loved so much, especially the food writing.”
It’s beautifully written; my heart is flapping
I loved so much, especially the food writing.”
Risa Miller
Winner of the Pen Award for best first novel
“Tobin is a very engaging writer with clear prose. Especially delightful are his passages on landscape, landmarks, and various regional cuisines. The chapters on Paris and Corfu are fascinating and memorable. Score 9 of 10”
Book Life/Publisher’s Weekly Prize
Videos
Growth begins with uncertainty (part 1)
Growth begins with uncertainty (part 2)
Blindsided by an unexamined life
The Marital Labyrinth
Published simultaneously at Psychology Today magazine and here on this site, the Marital Labyrinth is a major series of articles diving deep into the topics of marriage, marital affairs, and how to affair-proof your relationship. A deep and sometimes torturous journey into the heart and soul of a marriage.
The Affair as a Solution
In this eighth installment of the Marital Labyrinth series, published simultaneously at Psychology Today, Dr Tobin considers the affair as a solution in the mind of
Other recent articles
A Dating Coach Reviews a Hinge Profile
This article originally appeared at Insider.com Christopher is a 31-year-old living in San Francisco who volunteered to have his dating app profile analyzed by an
The Discovery of Truth Begins from Confusion and Doubt
If given a choice between confusion and clarity, hard to imagine that there’d be one among us who would choose confusion over clarity. Yet, the discovery of
Dealing with Loneliness as a Therapist
How do therapists personally deal with loneliness? With a heavy heart, I acknowledge it’s a question I’m uniquely and sadly qualified to answer. First, my
Stay in Touch
Sign up below to be among the first to know when the book is available to buy
Author and Psychologist
Receive updates
© 2023 Michael Tobin • Website lovingly crafted by Design for Writers